It’s time for a change = Punch yourself in the face.

Your tired all the time. Your monotonous daily routine is wearing you down. Face it, you are bored beyond belief and it’s showing no signs of letting up anytime soon.
You could try a new diet, start doing Pilates or go extreme and start shoplifting large electric appliances. Anything to break the sheer handwringing-facepalming-openmouthyawning-touchingyourselfinapropriatlywaytomuchathome-ness-ness that is your life.

There is however a certain way of changing your perception and bringing some unexpected life back to the empty shell of you existence.

You need to punch yourself in the face. Hard. Or even better, up the unexpectedness of said punch by asking a friend (or an enemy, that should make it easier to find an accomplice) to unexpectedly punch you in the face. Or for the ultimate rush get a bear to do it. You will never feel more alive as the moment after you wake from your bear induced coma.

Okay so some of you may be thinking. Why would I want to inflict bodily damage to myself? What are you on Saint? But there is some method in my madness (or the other way around). Here’s why.

You have grown complacent and therefore you need to wake up and if you are seriously considering punching yourself, there is still hope for you.

Most office bound corporate types (Like myself and you considering you are reading my blog to avoid working) spend a great deal of time getting a screen tan, hunched over your keyboard, pouring over inevitably meaningless “work” that will not change the world one bit in the long run.

Inevitably you will realise that if you are not doing manly things for a living, like skydiving into a forest fire to save a bus full of cheerleaders or at the very least carpentry (don’t knock it, Jesus was a carpenter) your job as a (insert your now irrelevant job here) is pretty mundane and then it dawns on you...

You have become a pussy. Don’t fight it. Say it with me “I am a pussy”. You have lost the will to be awesome and therefore you are slowly dying, on your ergonomic chair, in your fabulously air-conditioned cubicle. Dying because you have no backbone, no ambitioned to change the world and ... you’re a pussy (but we have covered that).

Nothing depussyfies a man like a dragonpunch from a bear! Any bear will essentially do even a fucking panda. What am a saying especially a panda! (They know kung fu)

The time has come to shake of the bonds of mediocrity and start doing something worthy of legacy and in my books taking a punch from a bear is right up there.

Of course bears aren’t readily available everywhere, so why not try the DIY solution.
Give yourself a quick pick-me-uppercut. You’ll feel more alive, guaranteed.